Synapses

Last night we were watching the Indians game, and J was doing his now-typical observations of the umpire (ever since he got certified to officiate he watches the refs/umpires at least as closely as the players).  He commented on how "almost no one calls strikes like that anymore" (not even kidding), and then he noticed that the home plate ump was wearing sunglasses under his facemask.  He was appalled.  "He's wearing sunglasses?  Why is he wearing sunglasses at night?"

I answered in the only way I knew how: "So he can forget your name while you collect your claim."

This caught him off-guard.  I honestly don't know how I was expected to answer in any other way, but he was all "How do you make these connections?  How are 80s lyrics still taking up room in your brain?"  Or something to that effect.

I've been asked similar questions before, even at work.  "How do you remember that stuff?"  I wish I knew how to forget a lot of it (it would leave more room for 80s lyrics).  I finally started answering by saying I guess I have a really good indexing system? Or something?  My internal relational database is just really well-organized, maybe.

I continued last night's conversation with J by telling him about a recent walk to the bus stop, where this all happened in my head:

I walked by a house that had some stuff in their yard that looked like super-long, curly grass, and after a second I realized that it was this wild onion plant that has invaded some lawns in my neighborhood.  One house near us has so much of it that when they mow the lawn the air smells like onions.  Then I was like, I guess they're wild scallions, technically, not regular onions.  Then I mentally spelled it "Wyld Scallyns" because saying the phrase in my brain reminded me of the band from Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure, Wyld Stallyns.  Then I was like "Oh yeah, they're making a new Bill & Ted movie", and then I tried to decide if I'm looking forward to it or not.

Then I was like OH MY GOD STOP. 

Be excellent to each other.